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Funny Girl

Author: Betsy Bird

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2018-05-08

Total Pages: 226

ISBN-13: 0147517834

Funny Girl is a collection of uproarious stories, rollicking comics, rib-tickling wit, and more, from 25 of today’s funniest female writers for kids. What could be funnier than family? Read stories about Ursula Brown's grandmother driving her on a road trip to disaster, Lisa Brown's little brother getting a Tic-Tac stuck up his nose, and Carmen Agra Deedy's mom setting the bathtub on fire. What could be funnier than friends? Pretty much nothing, as Rita Williams-Garcia shows two besties hatching a bird-brained scheme to get on to a TV talk show, and Deborah Underwood introduces a dynamic dog-and-cat duo teaming up on a pet advice column. What could be funnier than YOU? Tell your future with Mad Libs, discover your Chinese Zodiac sign with Lenore Look, and learn the best tricks of the comedy trade from professional humorists like Adrianne Chalepah and Delaney Yeager. With clever contributions from award-winning and bestselling authors including Cece Bell, Sophie Blackall, Libba Bray, Shannon Hale, Lisa Graff, and Raina Telgemeier, this anthology of funny girls will make you laugh until you cry. Or cry until you laugh. Or maybe you won't cry at all. Either way, you'll definitely laugh. Funny Girl isn’t just an anthology: it’s a cause, a mission, a movement. Girls are funny. Now it’s time for the world to know it.

Giraffes Ruin Everything

Author: Heidi Schulz

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2016-08-16

Total Pages: 42

ISBN-13: 1619634759

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In this mischievously funny picture book, friends come in all shapes and sizes. In case you were wondering, here's an incomplete list of things giraffes ruin: - Birthday parties - Going to the movies - Playing at the park - Hide and Seek - Everything else Yes, that's right. Giraffes ruin everything. But what happens when our narrator gets into a tricky situation? Perhaps he'll find giraffes aren't so bad after all . . .

The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World

Author: Joey Acker

Publisher:

Published: 2019-03-15

Total Pages:

ISBN-13: 9781951046095

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OH NO!!! You found The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World! Well, since you're already here I may as well tell you about it... Poor Nameless tries to explain to the reader why this book is simply the WORST book in the whole entire world. Will he succeed in his noble quest? Is he the reason this book is the worst?? Will it have a happy ending or the worst ending ever??? The Worst Book in the Whole Entire World is a humorous and witty tale for young and seasoned readers. Whatever you do though, don't read it out loud! You may catch wind of these words: toot, stinky, booger, and booty. You've been warned, but you'll still want to see what happens next!

It's Kind of a Funny Story

Author: Ned Vizzini

Publisher: Disney Electronic Content

Published: 2010-09-25

Total Pages: 452

ISBN-13: 1423141083

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Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.

The Best American Humorous Short Stories

Author: Alexander Jessup

Publisher: Phoemixx Classics Ebooks

Published: 2021-08-19

Total Pages: 322

ISBN-13: 3985517649

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The Best American Humorous Short Stories Alexander Jessup - A Different Kind of Humor The Best American Humorous Short Stories is a collection of 19th-century and early 20th-century stories written by the likes of Mark Twain, Edgar Allan Poe, George William Curtis, Bret Harte or O. Henry. These stories aren't humorous in the sense of our modern understanding, they present a different kind of humor like jokes about men who don't wear hats and ridiculous notions about the African-Americans and about women. This Collection Includes: INTRODUCTION Alexander Jessup THE LITTLE FRENCHMAN AND HIS WATER LOTS (1839) George Pope Morris THE ANGEL OF THE ODD (1844) Edgar Allan Poe THE SCHOOLMASTER'S PROGRESS (1844) Caroline M.S. Kirkland THE WATKINSON EVENING (1846) Eliza Leslie TITBOTTOM'S SPECTACLES (1854) George William Curtis MY DOUBLE; AND HOW HE UNDID ME (1859) Edward Everett Hale A VISIT TO THE ASYLUM FOR AGED AND DECAYED PUNSTERS (1861) Oliver Wendell Holmes THE CELEBRATED JUMPING FROG OF CALAVERAS COUNTY (1865) Mark Twain ELDER BROWN'S BACKSLIDE (1885) Harry Stillwell Edwards THE HOTEL EXPERIENCE OF MR. PINK FLUKER (1886) Richard Malcolm Johnston THE NICE PEOPLE (1890) Henry Cuyler Bunner THE BULLER-PODINGTON COMPACT (1897) Frank Richard Stockton COLONEL STARBOTTLE FOR THE PLAINTIFF (1901) Bret Harte THE DUPLICITY OF HARGRAVES (1902) O. Henry BARGAIN DAY AT TUTT HOUSE (1905) George Randolph Chester A CALL (1906) Grace MacGowan Cooke HOW THE WIDOW WON THE DEACON (1911) William James Lampton GIDEON (1914) Wells Hastings

Funny Stories: And Other Funny Stories

Author: Morris Gleitzman

Publisher: Penguin Group Australia

Published: 2018-10-29

Total Pages: 576

ISBN-13: 176014696X

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Swap a bomb for three ice-creams on a train, bounce on a vampire’s bed, eat a pizza that makes you fearless, read the secret diary of a dog, unleash the awesome power of chips, save ten lives with a paper clip, surprise your mum with a chainsaw, use a demolition ball to defeat a bully, live in a house that gets wiped clean more often than a bottom ... and lots more!

Mr. Funny Pants

Author: Michael Showalter

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing

Published: 2011-02-22

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 0446563609

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I was at my wit's end. I'd had enough of this job, this life, and my relationship had broken up. Should I eat chocolate, or go to India, or fall in love? Then I had a revelation: Why not do all three, in that order? And so it was that I embarked on a journey that was segmented into three parts and was then made into a major motion picture. Later, I woke up on an airplane with a hole in my face and a really bad hangover. I was ushered brusquely off the plane by my parents who took me to a rehab where I tested positive for coke, classic coke, special k (the drug), Special K (the cereal), mushrooms, pepperoni, and Restless Leg Syndrome. It was there that I first began painting with my feet. But rewind...the year was 1914. I was just a young German soldier serving in the trenches while simultaneously trying to destroy an evil ring with some help from an elf, a troll, and a giant sorcerer, all while cooking every recipe out of a Julia Child cookbook. What I'm trying to say is that there was a secret code hidden in a painting and I was looking for it with this girl who had a tattoo of a dragon! Let me clarify, it was the 1930s and a bunch of us were migrating out of Oklahoma, and I was this teenage wizard/CIA operative, okay? And, um then I floated off into the meta-verse as a ball of invisible energy that had no outer edge... Ugh, okay. None of this is true. I'm just kind of a normal guy from New Jersey who moved to New York, got into comedy, wrote this book about trying to write this book, and then moved to Alaska, became the mayor of a small town, spent $30,000 on underwear, and now I'm going to rule the world!!!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to School...

Author: Davide Cali

Publisher: Chronicle Books

Published: 2015-03-03

Total Pages: 37

ISBN-13: 145214074X

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First, some giant ants steal breakfast. Then there are the evil ninjas, massive ape, mysterious mole people, giant blob, and countless other daunting (and astonishing) detours along the way to school. Are these excuses really why this student is late? Or is there another explanation that is even more outrageous than the rest? From Davide Cali and Benjamin Chaud, the critically acclaimed author/illustrator team behind I Didn't Do My Homework Because . . . comes a fast-paced, actionpacked, laugh-out-loud story about finding the way to school despite the odds—and the unbelievable oddness! Plus, this is the fixed format version, which will look almost identical to the print version. Additionally for devices that support audio, this ebook includes a read-along setting.

Morgan Charmley: Teen Witch

Author: Katy Birchall

Publisher: Scholastic UK

Published: 2020-02-06

Total Pages: 208

ISBN-13: 0702303755

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Laugh-out-loud, fresh teen comedy with an on-trend witchy spin - Sabrina the Teenage Witch for a new generation! Morgan Charmley has spent her entire thirteen years on the planet attempting to prove she has control over her witch powers so that she's allowed to attend a normal school. And the day has finally arrived! But will she be able to make friends and fit in with non-magical teenagers? Can she resist using her powers to make herself popular or turn her teachers into toads? Can she keep her spells a secret? Perfect for fans of Louise Rennison, Zoella and Holly Bourne

The Funniest Cop Stories Ever

Author: Scott Baker

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2009-01-01

Total Pages: 195

ISBN-13: 0740789260

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Cops are the people who see and hear it all. They work at one of the world's most dangerous jobs, but it's also one of the most entertaining. When their lives are at risk-and even when they aren't--cops encounter constant weirdness and stupidity in human behavior. The Funniest Cop Stories Ever collects the strangest, most amusing stories about stupid crooks, bungled crimes, and station-house banter. A true look at what life is like behind the badge, the tales in The Funniest Cop Stories Ever were collected by real-life ex-New York City policeman Scott Baker and coauthor Tom Philbin. Anecdotes are told by the real-life cops who experienced them and include: A foot chase after a dwarf who karate-kicked his girlfriend's door and assaulted her while wearing a tuxedo and carrying a violin case. A beggar who ended people's pay phone calls so he could demand their extra spare change. A narcotics bust on a guy who claimed the crack cocaine--and his pants--didn't belong to him.