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In the Merde for Love

Author: Stephen Clarke

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2008-12-10

Total Pages: 418

ISBN-13: 159691744X

The latest episode in Stephen Clarke's almost-true account of his adventures as an expat in France is just as winning as the first. This "anti-Mayle" will have readers chortling over their croissants and café au lait while Paul West struggles to solve the mysteries inherent in life in France. What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress? And why are there no public health warnings on French nude beaches? Paul discovers how to judge a French vacationer by the rustiness of his bicycle; opens his English tearoom; and finally understands why Parisian waiters are so cranky. Just in time for spring in Paris, find out if Paul finds the perfect French mademoiselle or if it all ends in merde!

Merde Actually

Author: Stephen Clarke

Publisher: Random House Australia

Published: 2012-04-01

Total Pages: 416

ISBN-13: 1742748279

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From the bestselling author of A Year in the Merde, the next instalment in the hilarious adventures of Paul West. 'Edgier than Bryson, hits harder than Mayle' The Times A year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some fundamental questions: What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Why are there no health warnings on French nudist beaches? And is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress? Paul opens his English tea room, and mutates (temporarily) into a Parisian waiter; samples the pleasures of typically French hotel-room afternoons; and, on a return visit to the UK, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes. Meanwhile, he continues his search for the perfect French mademoiselle. But will Paul find l'amour éternel, or will it all end in merde? MERDE ACTUALLY In his second comedy of errors, Paul West continues to sabotage the entente cordiale. Author's apology: 'I'd just like to say sorry to all the suppository fans out there, because in this book there are no suppositories. There are, however, lots of courgettes, and I see this as progress. Suppositories to courgettes - I think it proves that I'm developing as a writer.' Stephen Clarke

A Year in the Merde

Author: Stephen Clarke

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2008-12-01

Total Pages: 300

ISBN-13: 1596917466

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A Year in the Merde is the almost-true account of the author's adventures as an expat in Paris. Based on his own experiences and with names changed to "avoid embarrassment, possible legal action-and to prevent the author's legs being broken by someone in a Yves Saint Laurent suit", the book is narrated by Paul West, a twenty-seven-year-old Brit who is brought to Paris by a French company to open a chain of British "tea rooms." He must manage of a group of lazy, grumbling French employees, maneuver around a treacherous Parisian boss, while lucking into a succession of lusty girlfriends (one of whom happens to be the boss's morally challenged daughter). He soon becomes immersed in the contradictions of French culture: the French are not all cheese-eating surrender monkeys, though they do eat a lot of smelly cheese, and they are still in shock at being stupid enough to sell Louisiana, thus losing the chance to make French the global language. The book will also tell you how to get the best out of the grumpiest Parisian waiter, how to survive a French business meeting, and how not to buy a house in the French countryside. The author originally wrote A Year in the Merde just for fun and self-published it in France in an English-language edition. Weeks later, it had become a word-of-mouth hit for expats and the French alike. With translation rights now sold in eleven countries and already a bestseller in the UK and France, Stephen Clarke is clearly a Bill Bryson (or a Peter Mayle...) for a whole new generation of readers who can never quite decide whether they love-or love to hate-the French.

1000 Years of Annoying the French

Author: Stephen Clarke

Publisher: Open Road Media

Published: 2012-03-20

Total Pages: 764

ISBN-13: 1453243585

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The author of A Year in the Merde and Talk to the Snail offers a highly biased and hilarious view of French history in this international bestseller. Things have been just a little awkward between Britain and France ever since the Norman invasion in 1066. Fortunately—after years of humorously chronicling the vast cultural gap between the two countries—author Stephen Clarke is perfectly positioned to investigate the historical origins of their occasionally hostile and perpetually entertaining pas de deux. Clarke sets the record straight, documenting how French braggarts and cheats have stolen credit rightfully due their neighbors across the Channel while blaming their own numerous gaffes and failures on those same innocent Brits for the past thousand years. Deeply researched and written with the same sly wit that made A Year in the Merde a comic hit, this lighthearted trip through the past millennium debunks the notion that the Battle of Hastings was a French victory (William the Conqueror was really a Norman who hated the French) and pooh-poohs French outrage over Britain’s murder of Joan of Arc (it was the French who executed her for wearing trousers). He also takes the air out of overblown Gallic claims, challenging the provenance of everything from champagne to the guillotine to prove that the French would be nowhere without British ingenuity. Brits and Anglophiles of every national origin will devour Clarke’s decidedly biased accounts of British triumph and French ignominy. But 1000 Years of Annoying the French will also draw chuckles from good-humored Francophiles as well as “anyone who’s ever encountered a snooty Parisian waiter or found themselves driving on the Boulevard Périphérique during August” (The Daily Mail). A bestseller in Britain, this is an entertaining look at history that fans of Sarah Vowell are sure to enjoy, from the author the San Francisco Chronicle has called “the anti-Mayle . . . acerbic, insulting, un-PC, and mostly hilarious.”

Talk to the Snail

Author: Stephen Clarke

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2008-12-02

Total Pages: 276

ISBN-13: 1596917431

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Have you ever walked into a half-empty Parisian restaurant, only to be told that it's "complet"? Attempted to say "merci beaucoup" and accidentally complimented someone's physique? Been overlooked at the boulangerie due to your adherence to the bizarre foreign custom of waiting in line? Well, you're not alone. The internationally bestselling author of A Year in the Merde and In the Merde for Love has been there too, and he is here to help. In Talk to the Snail, Stephen Clarke distills the fruits of years spent in the French trenches into a truly handy (and hilarious) book of advice. Read this book, and find out how to get good service from the grumpiest waiter; be exquisitely polite and brutally rude at the same time; and employ the language of l'amour and le sexe. Everything you need is here in this funny, informative, and seriously useful guide to getting what you really want from the French.

Paris Revealed

Author: Stephen Clarke

Publisher: Open Road Media

Published: 2012-03-20

Total Pages: 376

ISBN-13: 1453243577

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A hilarious insider’s guide to Paris by the author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French: “Clarke’s eye for detail is terrific” (The Washington Post). Stephen Clarke may have adopted Paris as his home, but he still has an Englishman’s eye for the people, cafés, art, sidewalks, food, fashion, and romance that make Paris a one-of-a-kind city. This irreverent outsider-turned-insider guide shares local savoir faire, from how to separate the good restaurants from the bad to navigating the baffling Métro system. It also provides invaluable insights into the etiquette of public urination and the best ways to experience Parisian life without annoying the Parisians (a truly delicate art). Clarke’s witty and expert tour of the city leaves no boulevard unexplored—even those that might be better left alone.

Merde!

Author: Genevieve

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2015-02-16

Total Pages: 112

ISBN-13: 1501112589

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Learn all the French slang, dirty words, and necessary tools of communication your teachers left out of their lesson plans with this essential survival guide to understanding everyday French. Deliciously saucy and full of wit Merde! is a practical guide for understanding French, as it really is spoken. This real-life resource is for anyone who remembers thumbing through English/French dictionaries for such words as "toilet paper" and "damn," as well as for the far more interesting, titillating terms that would never be used in polite conversation. But real French isn't spoken with the intent of being polite… With epithets for every occasion, a range of colorful idioms, and a wealth of come-ons and put-downs, this is the only language book you'll need to prepare for a trip to the city of lights.

Merde Happens

Author: Stephen Clarke

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2011-12-01

Total Pages: 253

ISBN-13: 1608195864

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In the acclaimed third installment of the popular Merde series, Paul West winds up stuck in American, chin-deep in financial trouble. He and his French girlfriend set off to America, with hopes of veering off the path to fiscal ruin. But as the not-so-dynamic duo stumble toward Los Angeles, via Boston, Miami, New Orleans, and Las Vegas, Paul's well-oiled plans for success, of course, turn to merde: the couple takes on carjackers, old flames, and liaisons dangereuses. The result is a madcap, hilarious adventure, an acerbic tour through America, France, England, and the places that make us who we are.

The Love That Split the World

Author: Emily Henry

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2016-01-26

Total Pages: 400

ISBN-13: 0698408152

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"A truly profound debut."—Buzzfeed "A time-bending suspense that's contemplative and fresh, evocative and gripping."—USA Today "Henry's story captivates, both as a romance and as an imaginative rethinking of time and space."—Publishers Weekly "This time-traveling, magical, and beautifully written love story definitely deserves a spot on your bookshelf."—Bustle Emily Henry's stunning debut novel is Friday Night Lights meets The Time Traveler's Wife and perfectly captures those bittersweet months after high school, when we dream not only of the future, but of all the roads and paths we've left untaken. Natalie's last summer in her small Kentucky hometown is off to a magical start . . . until she starts seeing the "wrong things." They're just momentary glimpses at first—her front door is red instead of its usual green, there’s a preschool where the garden store should be. But then her whole town disappears for hours, fading away into rolling hills and grazing buffalo, and Nat knows something isn't right. Then there are the visits from the kind but mysterious apparition she calls "Grandmother," who tells her, "You have three months to save him." The next night, under the stadium lights of the high school football field, she meets a beautiful boy named Beau, and it's as if time just stops and nothing exists. Nothing, except Natalie and Beau.

Hide This French Book 101

Author: Eve-Alice Roustang-Stoller

Publisher: Langenscheidt Publishing Group

Published: 2006

Total Pages: 144

ISBN-13: 9789812467607

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This book contains 101 of the hottest French expressions, including fun illustrations and easy-to-read pronunciation. Inside you'll find cool ways to say hi and bye, love lingo, language for fashionistas, partying French style, tech talk, and more.